Juneau author Aidan Key’s new book, “Trans Children in Today’s Schools,” gives a comprehensive look at what transgender kids are experiencing, and what parents and educators can do to support them through their transitions.
KTOO’s Yvonne Krumrey sat down with Key to talk about the book and what led him to write it. He says his path to writing the book and working as a gender diversity consultant started more than two decades ago.
Aidan Key: I stepped in over 25 years ago. It’s been quite a journey. I’d say the first 10 years were really stepping in and having conversations with medical and mental health practitioners, speaking at universities, things like that. And then probably a good decade into that was when I discovered the families who were wanting to support their gender diverse children.
And they’re asking me for help and guidance, and I’m busy looking at them thinking that the fact that you are stepping in to support your kid — and first of all, that your younger child could speak up and articulate gender identity differences — is pretty amazing. And, “Oh, wow, I don’t know what to tell you. Let’s see if we can figure that out together.” So that was a real game changer for me to then think about, how might I be able to help support those families and their kids? And quite a learning journey since then.
Yvonne Krumrey: I’m curious — how has educating youth parents, teachers about gender diversity evolved over time in the last 25 years?
Aidan Key: As time progresses, what has happened is that there’s more understanding, there’s more information at people’s fingertips. That principal who calls knows that the other principals in their school district have navigated this also. So I can make that call — “How’d that go for you? What are the things you did? What did you encounter?” So there is a progression that is continuing. And, frankly, building steam in a way that makes it difficult for the rest of us to keep up.
So also, I will say that it has become more politically divisive. People are bringing faith values into the question. There is unfortunate and misrepresentative connotations of sexuality coming into the conversations. Those are not the discussions that are happening in schools with kids. But that’s, again, the misconceptions that adults have.
Yvonne Krumrey: And you address the ways that youth and families belonging to different communities, religions, racial groups have different experiences with trans identity. Can you tell me why it was important that you address these differences?
Aidan Key: Because these kids are in every family. So whether they’re Muslim, Christian, Mormon, agnostic — whatever the family’s relationship to faith, gender diverse kids are in those families. They’re in those schools. I have heard many, many times from different school administrators, that their community is different, perhaps, than what I’m used to. And you know, of course. Communities are distinct from each other in these different ways.
But when I get there, I see a group of adults who are looking after kids, not knowing what to do. That’s where things are consistent.
Yvonne Krumrey: There’s a quote that you included in the book that stuck out to me. It’s Adrienne Rich.
“When someone with the authority of a teacher describes the world around you and you are not in it, there’s a moment of psychic disequilibrium, as if you looked into a mirror and saw nothing.”
That stuck out to me a lot. Is that something that you’ve seen in a lot of young people that you’ve encountered, who just don’t see themselves in the curriculum or in the classroom? And do you think that’s changing?
Aidan Key: It is absolutely what any trans person, child or adult has experienced significantly at some point in their lives. So yes, we don’t exist if we don’t see ourselves. We don’t have language to describe those experiences. Yeah, there’s psychic … disequilibrium.
And yes, it’s changing. It is changing. We have access at our fingertips to the lives and stories of so many people, so many ages, via social media, YouTube personalities, just kids in the schools today.
I think about my time at Juneau Douglas High School, and my years before that, and I didn’t see gay or lesbian kids. And I certainly did not see trans kids. So they don’t exist. I discover later in life that they do exist. These people do exist. And I meet them when I’m older, as an adult. Did they not exist until some magic moment of reaching adulthood? No. So we just didn’t bring in those representations. We didn’t make room for them. We didn’t talk about those things.
We are doing something quite different today. And I have been really impressed with the Juneau School District and many other districts across the U.S. who are saying, “Gosh, we need to look after all of our kids.” That includes those who are transgender or nonbinary.
Yvonne Krumrey: That is one thing that really stands out to me too, is you’ve been doing this work for so long. And yet, I would say that the book, “Trans Children in Today’s Schools,” is full of patience and compassion for everyone who is just starting this journey of awareness.
Aidan Key: It’s the way forward. If I’m not compassionate and respectful of the people, of any person’s experience in this time, how are they going to get past that? What would I want? If I was feeling challenged? Or having ideas or thoughts that I wanted to put on the table? Do I want somebody to shut me down? Do I want them to pass judgment? No, I don’t. So that is, that’s the real work.
And I don’t know — I think we can do that work. I’m busy experiencing that on a daily basis. When we do create that environment, then we have some good conversations that are practical and comprehensive. If we just pull back and decide I’m on one side of an issue and you’re on the other side, then we’re stuck.
